Top 5 Phallic Objects Found in Nature
In nature, one can find an abundance of natural formations and life forms whose appearances seem to defy logic--and the bounds of comedy. There is no shortage of naturally occuring objects that resemble buttocks, lady parts, and of course the subject of 99% of the spam messages sent to your email. Here are our top five picks for the funniest naturally occuring penis-shaped objects.
1. Lago di Garda in Italy
Lago di Garda is nestled in the mountains of northern Italy and is the largest lake within the Italian peninsula. It is a popular resort area that offers a spectacular view of the Alps along the shores of the lake's narrow northern end. Several small islands in the southern and northern waters offer scenic views of the quaint lakeside communes, including Sermione, San Felice del Benaco, and other villages. On the eastern shore there is even a theme park called Gardaland, the third most popular amusement park in continental Europe.
The valley that contains Lake Garda was formed at the end of the last ice age by glaciers who had a sense of humor. Seen from above, the lake resembles an erect penis with balls.
2. Penis-Shaped Rock Found in Maryland
A horse caretaker in Elk Neck State Park discovered two phallic objects right under his nose one day: his own junk, and this rock on the ground. Even more curious than the rock's uncanny resemblance to a penis is the hole in the base of the shaft.
Those who speculate on the rock's origins believe it may be a piece of a statue, a stalactite, a chunk of petrified wood whose hole was bored by insects, or possibly a prehistoric bedroom toy.
Martin Kenny, the rock's finder and current owner, contacted the Smithsonian Institute to see if they could help identify the specimen. So far, the Institute has not replied to his request.
3. Stinkhorn Mushrooms
Stinkhorn mushrooms form a family of fungi called Phallaceae, so-called because most fungi in this family look like willies poking out of the ground. The typical form of a stinkhorn mushroom is stalk that "hatches" out of an egg-like base. At the top of the stalk is a sticky horn that gives off a foul odor and bears spores. The odor helps attract flies and other insects who can disperse the spores.
Often, a stinkhorn fungus will sprout next to one or two unhatched eggs, so the entire group resembles a penis shaft with balls. Stinkhorn mushrooms are distributed all over the world, but are most commonly found in the tropics, humid forests, and the pants of deranged men who hang around bus stations.
It is worth noting that not all members of the Phallaceae family resemble phalluses. Some species are star-shaped, or grow as loops and flat clusters.
4. Penis-Shaped Iceberg
Antarctica is happy to see you! Though this natural ice scuplture has probably long since melted, it aroused quite a bit of excitement when it was first photographed by Andy Rouse in Bransfield Strait, the icy waters between the South Shetland Islands and the Antarctic Peninsula.
5. The Saguaro Cactus
Saguaro cacti, Carnegiea gigantea, are tall erect desert plants that can reach over 10 meters in height. They are chracterized by arm-like appendages and long spines that grow along vertical ridges. The tops of both the main trunk and arms are rounded like the topic of this article. Though they form a single species, there is much variation among individuals; some cacti exhibit more phallic traits than others.
Saguaro cacti grow very slowly, even with the help of Viagra. A mature plant may not develop an arm until it is at least 70 years old. Yet they can live for more than a 100 years in some of the driest regions in the Americas. White and yellow saguaro flowers bloom during April, May, and June, with red fruit appearing in late June.
© Had2Know 2010