7 Horrible Holiday Presents for the Ones You Don't Like

The Holiday Season is a time when we give gifts to our loved ones, show that we appreciate their presence in our life. It is also a time when we give presents to people we don't really like, but societal pressures force us to include them on our holiday shopping list. What to give the ones we love to ignore? How can you rebel against forced gift-giving without making it too obvious that you don't like someone? Here are seven suggestions.

Gift cards--for merchandise they don't want. Gift cards are often maligned as thoughtless gifts, but most people love getting gift cards for stores they frequently shop at. However, you can make gift cards into horrible gift by purchasing them at specialty stores. Do you know an irritable health nut? Give her $20 toward the purchase of cigars. How about that loud-mouthed jerk at work? He might like $15 in aromatherapy candles. At least they can re-gift the cards.
Wooden brain teasers--for dumb people. Idiots often top the list of people we dislike; they're always bugging everyone with stupid questions. Keeping them occupied with a wooden brain teaser is one way to get them of your hair. Give them a challenging puzzle to make them feel dumb.

Atrocious wall art--even better if it includes velvet and clowns. Give the gift that defies convential notions of aesthetics and the scale of value, that challenges the observer to confront and define what art truly is--art that is as much about the observer's reaction to the piece as the piece itself.
Life coaching and/or subliminal hypnosis recordings--for those who are perpetually complaining about their sad sorry lives. Nothing can help you attain riches like listening to self-help CDs made by people who got rich selling self-help CDs. Don't forget subliminal sleep tapes for weight loss, smoking, and attracting the opposite sex.
Anything from the SkyMall aiplane catalogue. You've always wondered if people actually buy stuff from the SkyMall catalogue. The answer is bad gifters. Who can imagine life without an electic catfood dispenser/lava lamp with a built-in currency converter? How did humans survive before they had remote controlled cordless bread makers with built-in currency converters?
A Snuggie (TM).
Celebrity memoirs--by D-list former child stars, for the culture snobs in your life. Ever wonder what happened to that one kid who was on that one show a long time ago? Me neither, but at your local bookstore, there's a 300-page tell-all with a bright orange 90% off sticker on the cover.